2008 Woodie Awards
Don't settle
Alexis Martin
Section: Opinion
Too often, females catch themselves settling for less when it comes to relationships. It is usually in the beginning when they can see a person does not have everything they want. For a female that is going to school, working a part-time job, drives her own car and pays her own bills, she wants a guy that's on the same page as her. Yet, the females in this generation let the boys, not men, fall short of these standards.
A classic situation is the high school sweethearts. The couple is so innocent and has no worries but what they should wear to prom. Unfortunately, this fairy tale does not have a happy ending. In most cases, the young lady pursues her dream to go to college and become independent from her parents. Guys her age at this point usually get to college and are surrounded by a female to male ratio of 8:1. Hence, the two go through the typical problems of cheating and consistent arguments. She loves him, so she continues to settle with having a cheating boyfriend, not a man.
It is these conditions that make me continue to not settle for the past two years. I will not say it's because I feel I am too good for anyone, or that I'm the stereotypical angry black female, the one men love to use as an excuse for fearing an independent African American woman. Why should I make excuses for someone who obviously does not love their self enough to be all they can be and have me take care of them?
Finding someone that is up to your standards is not hard. First, you have to have faith (in whatever you believe in) that someone will be sent your way. It will be someone that loves you enough to adore you and not abuse you physically, mentally and emotionally. This person will not give you all the reasons why he can not, will not or does not care to be there for you when you need them the most. Instead, they will be there for you at any time or place. They will understand why you do the things you do and love you for being you. Even the things that bother them the most will be the things that sometimes they love the most.
Ladies, please stop settling for a boy and use the checklist for a man. A man is different from a boyfriend in the way he treats you. He will treat you like a queen and not someone who is beneath him. You both will be on the same page in everything ranging from your education levels and the personal leisure that you both enjoy doing in your spare time. He would not settle for you if you were not what he truly wanted, so do not settle for him if he is not what you want.
A classic situation is the high school sweethearts. The couple is so innocent and has no worries but what they should wear to prom. Unfortunately, this fairy tale does not have a happy ending. In most cases, the young lady pursues her dream to go to college and become independent from her parents. Guys her age at this point usually get to college and are surrounded by a female to male ratio of 8:1. Hence, the two go through the typical problems of cheating and consistent arguments. She loves him, so she continues to settle with having a cheating boyfriend, not a man.
It is these conditions that make me continue to not settle for the past two years. I will not say it's because I feel I am too good for anyone, or that I'm the stereotypical angry black female, the one men love to use as an excuse for fearing an independent African American woman. Why should I make excuses for someone who obviously does not love their self enough to be all they can be and have me take care of them?
Finding someone that is up to your standards is not hard. First, you have to have faith (in whatever you believe in) that someone will be sent your way. It will be someone that loves you enough to adore you and not abuse you physically, mentally and emotionally. This person will not give you all the reasons why he can not, will not or does not care to be there for you when you need them the most. Instead, they will be there for you at any time or place. They will understand why you do the things you do and love you for being you. Even the things that bother them the most will be the things that sometimes they love the most.
Ladies, please stop settling for a boy and use the checklist for a man. A man is different from a boyfriend in the way he treats you. He will treat you like a queen and not someone who is beneath him. You both will be on the same page in everything ranging from your education levels and the personal leisure that you both enjoy doing in your spare time. He would not settle for you if you were not what he truly wanted, so do not settle for him if he is not what you want.
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